| College is weird. |
[26 Aug 2006|05:07pm] |
I have felt like SHIT lately. Today is actually a good day. I did a lot of potentially disasterous things yesterday.But I got by by the skin of my teeth. The horseshoe remains firmly planted up my ass. I just remembered yesterday...wow...men are ALL scumbags. ALL of them. Well, ok. Only the ones on this campus. They are so not worth my time at all! I know im not fucking ghandi, but i deserve a little more respect.
List
-Soft spoken.
-Very thin.
-Always smiling.
-Doesnt speak unless spoken to.
-Always preoccupied in her own head during convorsation that is not related to her.
-Listens intently, wide-eyed, and knods her head. Asks questions only after speaker is finished speaking.
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[03 Aug 2006|04:30pm] |
I'm not QUITE sure if anybody realized this, but the word "emo" went from underground lingo to household bantor in the matter of 5 years, not even. Not to say that emo "sold-out" or anything like that, I don't really believe in that idea. I just got kind of nostalgic today at work while reading a Teen People when I noticed that they described a certain shirt "emo". So not only is it a music, it's a fashion. This means that it is a lifestyle. I guess IM emo then, i dont mind. hey, at least people know what to call me now. Emo. huh.
I remeber when I was talking about music with this senior when I was a Jr. and she mensioned the elusive "emo". I asked what it was and she responded, fully annoyed, with a definition that included the words "emotional", "punk", and "weezer". Weezer, I knew. Although, they LOOKED more emo than they sounded. So she gave me the name of the current Taking Back Sunday album, patted me on the head, and sent me on my way.
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[13 Jul 2006|12:08pm] |
I am a weirdo.
i think i did this to myself. really.
like just now
i called adam to see if he wanted a ride to work
mainly because that way he wouldnt have
to take the train (therefore proving that i am an
awesome and giving girlfriend)
and then i found out he already WAS at the
cumberland station
and then i realized he had to be at work earler than i thought he did
and i havnt taken my medicidine ( and this is the reason im socially awkeward, because i dont know how to handle being off of my medecine).
so he said, well you should still pick me up
& i said, well, um, its kind of pointless now
& he asked, why?
so i freaked out and said uuuuuuuum..sorrygottagoillcallyoulaterbye
AND HUNG UP
i got all tounge tied and decided all of a sudden
that i DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE AT THAT MOMENT.
does that make any sense to you???
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| Men are weird. |
[13 Jul 2006|12:34am] |
men.
sigh
men are weird.
they act like children & fuck like adults & want to be held &
kick things when theyre angry & theyre always
angry
& they are beautiful & beautiful & beautiful
& they hold you so tight & sometimes too tight.
sometimes they hold you so tight that its hard to breathe
& you start to feel your ribs cave in & you tell them to stop
but they dont.
OR they do & they pout b/c you scolded them like their mother would.
but you know that they are being a little boy
& if you dont scold them
who would?
and FUCK you dont want to be someone's babysitter
but this always happens
& he's an aires
--you should have known this would happen because
the ram is so needy.
god they're so needy.
but at least he's not a gemini. thank GOD he's not the twins.
because you know tom is a gemini-man & he is impossible.
but GOD he smells so good
& his hands feel so soft & warm & strong when they touch you softly.
but he doesnt like to be soft much
--not unless he's touching your tits.
& you hate it when he touches them.
his eyes. his eyes. they're like crystal-ball-mood-rings.
sometimes beautiful & dark or light or tragic & gray or green or blue or grey.
but never brown.
he loves your brown eyes.
he swallows your soul through those brown eyes of yours.
he can see everything.
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| I am selling my life on ebay... |
[12 Jul 2006|11:45pm] |
i'm selling pretty much everything I own online right now.
starting with the books.
i never read these damn books anyway.
some of them were presents.
a lot of them are from school.
whatever.
i am feeling that holding onto all of this clutter and staring it in the face everyday
is bogging me down.
its like im stuck in a tortured past.
eew. who needs that???
not MOI.
im really selling all of these things to
[A] escape from my past
&
[B] buy new things for my future.
( ♥3 )
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| i met a girl yesterday... |
[12 Jul 2006|07:03pm] |
I met a girl named Georgie yesterday.
she was adam's boss's girlfriend.
she told me i was georgous
and she wanted to eat me like a rabid dog.
that may have been the sweetest thing i have ever heard.
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| You've got mail. |
[07 Jul 2006|04:02pm] |
Its funny how certain movies make you feel like acting in a certain way, or doing a certain thing. Such as how You've Got Mail makes me feel like eating an egg salad sandwich in Lincoln Park. It also makes me feel like bringing my laptop to Borders and drinking Seattle's Best cappucinos and writing emails to mysterious online lovers. Granted, I have no mysterious online lover...I wish I did. *Sigh* will you be my Joe Fox?
You've Got Mail
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| You've got mail. |
[07 Jul 2006|03:55pm] |
Its funny how certain movies make you feel like acting in a certain way, or doing a certain thing. Such as how You've Got Mail makes me feel like eating an egg salad sandwich in Lincoln Park. It also makes me feel like bringing my laptop to Borders and drinking Seattle's Best cappucinos and writing emails to mysterious online lovers. Granted, I have no mysterious online lover...I wish I did. *Sigh* will you be my Joe Fox?
You've Got Mail
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| Super-cool egg salad recipe |
[07 Jul 2006|03:52pm] |
INGREDIENTS:
8 eggs
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
2 tablespoons prepared Dijon-style mustard
1 teaspoon dried dill weed
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 red onion, minced
salt and pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS:
Place eggs in a saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring water to a boil; cover, remove from heat, and let eggs stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, cool, peel and chop.
In a large bowl, combine the egg, mayonnaise, mustard, dill, paprika, onion and salt and pepper. Mash well with a fork or wooden spoon.
Serve on bread as a sandwich or over crisp lettuce as a salad.
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| Syubway goo |
[07 Jul 2006|02:48pm] |
What is it about subway stations that requires every surface to be covered in a very fine goo. I'm not analzying the cleanliness of the establishment as much as the makeup of this elusive gunk threatening to reach out and swallow me whole every day.
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| Die! Scenester scum! |
[06 Jul 2006|06:12pm] |
Scenesters are the devil. Karol is a scenester. He is the epitome of pompous asshole. I despise all of you and your double-geared messenger bikes, and your downtown living, and your dollar-a-day lifestyle. Anyone who can consistantly make me feel THAT shitty about myself is NOT worth my time. ARGH.
They slink around the city with their thrift store tshirts and their Levis' and their noses permenantly fixed in the heavens. My music is obsolete to their superior ear drums, whilst I still have yet to witness them actually enjoying music. They ride their "double geared" bikes that dont have breaks, and I listen to their inter-clan tuttering on about most rescent mishaps involving reckless cabbies. If there is some sercret code to desipher, it obviously takes too long to figure out. Anyone who actually takes the time in lose-land long enough to uncover the key to this pseudo-yuppy-punk-knockoff lifestyle needs to seriously re-prioritize.
Die! Scenester scum!
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| time. |
[30 Jun 2006|04:00pm] |
the clock has been stuck in this realm that does not quite hit 4:00 PM for what seems about an hour.
4:00...finally.
I've been waiting.
I want to go out to have a cigarette...i want to get out of this library. but all i know is that every moment im hear im NOT eating. i wonder how many calories i burn when i speed shelve the books. push cart. pick up book. walk to correct spot. shelve. bend over/crouch down/reach. recover. walk to cart. repeat. i should shelve Adult non-fic...those are heavier. i want a cigarette...but i dont want to get yelled at.
this empty feeling is like home to me. starving makes all the bad in my life seem somewhat ok.
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| Some people need some direction... |
[29 Jun 2006|05:49pm] |
I dont understand how a person could possibly take the beautiful life that they have been given for granted. Especially at a young age. And I am not even talking about people who are wealthy or physically beautiful or talented, I'm talking about ALL people. Rightfully so, not one person on this earth should be HOPING for death (unless there is an extreme case that I am overlooking, which i am sure that i am)! When you really think about it, aside from an unfortunate few, we ALL have the ability to reach any goal that we could possibly want. I do not believe that the outcome will be perfect in every detail...but ANYTHING is possible. But then again, that's why we all should be careful what we wish for. I was 150 pounds and depressed. All I wanted was to be thin. I thought that my weight could greatly effect my life. Well, of course it did, in many positive ways when i lost it. But when i was on the floor of my bedroom, clutching my heart, at 109 pounds and 5'7...I realized that I needed to be A LOT more specific about my wish when i asked my own personal geanie. Even though my dreams turned violently into an eating disorder, I realized that I will never be able to say again...i CANT do it.
Then once again it happened (this has only happened twice for me, this whole DREAM-COME-TRUE thing). I didnt study for ACTs the first two times i took them. Then I realized that I really really really wanted to go to UMASS. I studied for that test harder than any test i have ever studied for before. I scored 25 on the third try. 31 on the English portion. Um....it was a suprise to me. Im going to ISU in the fall...It's not UMass, but I love it.
I think the lesson in this is that our genies are waiting just go rub a magic pot! haha. pot.
xoxo.
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| Some people need some direction... |
[29 Jun 2006|05:49pm] |
I dont understand how a person could possibly take the beautiful life that they have been given for granted. Especially at a young age. And I am not even talking about people who are wealthy or physically beautiful or talented, I'm talking about ALL people. Rightfully so, not one person on this earth should be HOPING for death (unless there is an extreme case that I am overlooking, which i am sure that i am)! When you really think about it, aside from an unfortunate few, we ALL have the ability to reach any goal that we could possibly want. I do not believe that the outcome will be perfect in every detail...but ANYTHING is possible. But then again, that's why we all should be careful what we wish for. I was 150 pounds and depressed. All I wanted was to be thin. I thought that my weight could greatly effect my life. Well, of course it did, in many positive ways when i lost it. But when i was on the floor of my bedroom, clutching my heart, at 109 pounds and 5'7...I realized that I needed to be A LOT more specific about my wish when i asked my own personal geanie. Even though my dreams turned violently into an eating disorder, I realized that I will never be able to say again...i CANT do it.
Then once again it happened (this has only happened twice for me, this whole DREAM-COME-TRUE thing). I didnt study for ACTs the first two times i took them. Then I realized that I really really really wanted to go to UMASS. I studied for that test harder than any test i have ever studied for before. I scored 25 on the third try. 31 on the English portion. Um....it was a suprise to me. Im going to ISU in the fall...It's not UMass, but I love it.
I think the lesson in this is that our genies are waiting just go rub a magic pot! haha. pot.
xoxo.
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| FUCK this. |
[29 Jun 2006|08:57am] |
I just got stuck in a fucking single-sex dorm @ ISU in Wilkin hall or something like that! What the hell! I'm sure its not going to be THAT bad but I reallyreallyreally wanted to be around a greater concentration of guys.
Well, not that I think about it...it would probably be a mistake to get involved with boys my freshman year. *sigh* I should probably just leave it alone. I need to focus on the Courtney on the INSIDE lol. oy. I guess it won't be so bad. Men are obnoxious. I really don't have time for them anyway.
xoxo
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[20 Jun 2006|05:52pm] |
Lip Pencil shade for you:
deep plum-based neutral
Product Suggestion:
Try DuWop's Neutral Lip Pencil in Justice, the perfect shade for you!
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[20 Jun 2006|05:50pm] |
Lipstick: Brown Copper (try: Tony&Tina Mood Balance Lipstick in Intuitive)
Blush: Pale Pearl Pink (try: Tony&Tina Herbal Powder Blush in Self-Love)
Eye Shadows: Shell Pink and Deep Brown (try: Tony&Tina Color Frequency Eye Shadow in Cosmic Intelligence and Mother Earth)
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[20 Jun 2006|05:47pm] |
Makeup colors for you:
Eyes: purple, berry, pink, green, mocha, brown, shimmery shades of gold & bronze
Eyeliner: deep green/khaki, soft black
Mascara: brown
Lips: deep pink, plum
Cheeks: peach, peachy-brown, brownish-pinkh
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| Courtney Reminder |
[05 Jun 2006|01:50pm] |
[x]graduation.
[x]prom pictures.
[x]graduation pics.
[x]new boyfriend.
[x]pictures.
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